When is it appropriate to walk away and when is it time to stand firm?

     So, I really ranted today on Facebook.  I must say that I did pray about it before my fingers did the walking on the keys, but I also might add that 2 ER trips in 4 days and almost 3 weeks of a preemie newborn have taken the toll on my brain so I was NOT in the best shape.  Somehow that didn't stop me.  Please Lord forgive me when I open my mouth and I shouldn't and yet let me open my mouth when I need to.  This is one of those moments that is up for debate.  I was firm and a bit harsh, but I felt like it was one of those moments where I had to defend "foster homes".

The below quote was found on a friend's Facebook page.

“The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.”  

No problem there.  The post was profound, but it was what followed that really caught me off guard.  The reply stated (I did copy her post, but only want to quote part of it in defense of her) that she was saddened by the cost of adoptions (rightfully so) and complained that children were taken out of their homes "to be placed in worse foster homes than the homes they were originally in".  Ouch!  Really?  That means me.  

That means that all of those sleepless nights where I rocked a colicky baby, 

those days for 45 minutes I held a raging, flailing child while he screamed in agony of the pain in his heart and mind,

those months of scheduling therapy after therapy and then coming home and doing the follow up therapies on our own, 

the late nights,

 the challenges or training and working with a child not to hoard food - to show them that they won't be hungry again, 

 the awful long, painful days after cleft palate surgery where that precious baby screamed at the pain as I held her and assured it would be alright, 

the agony of having my heart ripped out when I find out one of my precious children returned only 7 months earlier has now been severely burned, 

the other foster child who came as a baby and now at age 5 is reported to be in a mental hospital,

the paperwork, 

the 20th anniversary trip that had been dreamed of for years that couldn't be scheduled because there was no respite home available and the children we had really didn't need to go through change, 

the lost lunches with friends

 and pedicures 

weekends with the girls

and relaxing nights reading a book by the fire....

those were because I AM A WORSE FOSTER HOME?  

I took offense.  I greatly took offense.  In fact, I was rather ticked.  So.....I prayed. I prayed for God to calm my heart.  I prayed to know if I should reply.  I prayed on how to reply.  I then knew that I couldn't stand by and let a generalization like that go by.  I have been hurt by more Christians than any non- Christians in this journey and it was time to take a stand.  Being a Christian does not mean being a doormat. For whatever reason, Christians (finger is pointed at me as well, people.  I am NOT innocent) tend to be very judgmental and they tend to listen to the media a great deal and take it as the gospel (well, actually that is EVERYONE...shame on us).  I am not alone.  I am in a large group of families who have stepped out in faith into an ugly, HARD mission field, where there is little support from anyone and that includes friends because they don't understand why you would DO SOMETHING like this.  Why would we take on "other people's problems" (yes, that was said to me).  

     These foster families have sacrificed more in a few short years than many will in a lifetime and yet these families don't give up.  We all have a secret. Well, not really a secret because we are all willing to share it, but few would listen.  The secret is CHRIST.  You can feel him....I mean almost physically feel him,  holding you.  You feel his breath on your skin as he lifts your weary head.  You feel him wipe your tears as you learn things you thought you knew about and yet really didn't until you held in your arms the victims themselves.  I know this is a repeat of an earlier post, but it bears repeating.  He blesses us in ways NOT of this world.  We definitely don't have those worldly treasures, but these are even better.  God comes through in ways none of us can really explain.

     Are there bad foster homes?  Well, you tell me?  Is there evil in this world?  Yes!  Do people do it for money?  I don't know how knowing how very little we are paid, but maybe. BUT there are seemingly insignificant people, with little to give who are doing great things for God.  You won't notice them because they are subtle, but God is cheering and he is the only one we serve!

     I will let this pass.  I have already forgiven her.  She didn't mean anything harsh, she just didn't get it.  She hasn't stepped out into the raging waters to watch Jesus let her walk.  She hasn't seen the face of God quite on this level. She probably thinks she has.  I know I thought I had. I was wrong. I have only begun to taste the love and power and magnitude of Jesus. Now  I must stand and defend those who are giving up lots of worldly things for these children including our family. No one will throw a parade in our honor and yet we wouldn't want that anyway. There are diapers to change and hearts to mend.  Who has time for a parade? God's work is at hand and we are busy, loving every minute of it!

    Thank you Lord for choosing me.  Thank you for taking someone like me who is so small and so unequipped with little to offer and allowing me to do something beautiful.  I am not worthy and yet you chose me.  I march forward!

 

Below is what I posted.  I know it was harsh.  Don't hate on me.  

      Soapbox Warning!  I must comment. I have prayed all the way home after I heard what was posted. I am doing this in love, but must share my heart. I was offended, greatly actually. My family and I (yes, my kids...all of them share this journey) have poured the last 4 years into being foster parents and for someone to make a blanket statement about "worse foster homes than the homes they were in" breaks me. 

      That is NOT fair and is coming from sensational media and oh how I dislike the media. Those "bad" foster homes are few and far between. We have altered our lives because GOD told us to do this. We wouldn't change ANY of it at all. Our lives are upside down. We see horrors that we never expected and hold those precious children who were victims of that horror. We miss lots of things and yet we love every moment of doing what we do. Please, I beg you to NOT make statements on something you know nothing about. Unless you have been willing to step up and be a foster family do NOT judge them and say things about them. I am a part of a large group of families that have made sacrifices you will never be able to comprehend for these children. I realize this may sound harsh, but I feel it must be said and that is also the reason I chose to make it public on here and not sent privately. I want everyone to understand that what you hear in the media is NOT a sample of what is really going on. 

     BTW adoption through the foster care system is FREE! FREE! FREE! and often comes with medical and college paid for. Yes,  adoption can be expensive privately, but I must ask,

 How big is your God? My God is bigger than the pain I feel when my heart is ripped from my body when a child returns to a bad situation and then returns after being severely burned 7 months later. My God is bigger than my weary body as I type this after spending the night in the ER for the 2nd time in 4 days with another foster child. My God is bigger than my selfish wishes to go to bed and not sit and love on this precious preemie that I hold in my arms while typing. I will serve HIM and will continue the call he has placed me no matter HOW hard, how challenging and how life altering it is. I will continue no matter how many people criticize and say hurtful things about something they know nothing about and about people they do not know. My GOD IS BIG! And for that reason I will walk forward for yet another child and I will give WAY beyond myself because I am not equipped to carry the load that HE has called me to, but am so thankful my GOD IS BIG because he carries me in my weakness. 

     A note on "expensive costs" and "hoops": I look at those differently now. They are there to show HOW BIG GOD is. They are there so that at the end of the journey you can do nothing, but fall on your face before God to praise because it couldn't have happened without him. God often gives you MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE because he wants you totally DONE AND SPENT and EMPTIED out for him. That is when you see his hands holding and carrying you. Ladies, I hope this has not been too harsh and yet I want it to be something for you to ponder. I am closing this before I attempt to get some sleep with prayer for you both and the lives you live before him. For your friends and their struggles. May God show you just how BIG he is and that he loves you and the journey he has called you on as well.