Why Foster Parents Quit

   This is a thankless job and if you are looking for awards, pats on the back or money then you are out of luck.  On the other hand if you are following God's call, you won't care about those things anyway. This job is in the trenches, many times alone with little support (except your immediate family and friends if you are blessed to have those who stick by you once you become a foster parent, many don't).  Trying to get lots of appointments, fill out endless paperwork, document every breath they take, deal with CPS caseworkers and then more caseworkers and then the change in caseworkers.   WIC, ECI, finding a new rhythm for those kids, assessing where they really are in terms of development and determining  if any diagnosis given is the right one. Reading and researching all the time to be sure this particular child is getting what he/she needs.

     You will find me defending CPS often, because I believe they are overloaded with very little direction, often changing rules, huge turnover, and a system that is failing.  Those things combined are a recipe for disaster, BUT that gives NO caseworker the right to be crummy, rude or flat out disrespectful to a foster home.  When a Christian family becomes a foster family they are often coming from a very controlled world that they have created on purpose.  They have surrounded themselves with Christian friends and often live in a bubble by choice.  I am NOT criticizing this or defending it.  That is a completely different blog post that may or may not get written. There is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with people who lift you up....except that often God will call you out of that.  If you get into foster care, you are in the mission field and it would be considered a hostile environment.  Trust me! That is plain and simple.  This is a problem for many and rightly so!

     I can think of one instance where one fantastic foster mom has been hit constantly by a particular county's CPS offices.  Every single caseworker reports that "it's not my job" when said foster mom asks a question.  They hold her responsible for things like diaper changes when a child has been with the bio mother and bringing a complete diaper bag for the bio mom's pleasure.  Hello, who had a child removed?  It wasn't my friend, I assure you.  She has been attacked!  No one is planning ahead and she is expected to drive an hour each way for a 2 hour visit 3 times a week.  Very little notice is given no matter how often she asks for it.  They treat her as if she is supposed to jump when they tell her to. This is NOT for the faint at heart, but my dear friend has taken it well, not that she is not frustrated and angry sometimes, but she realizes that her mission field is hostile and she is taking a deep breath and moving forward. This also doesn't mean that she must always take it.  She has choices to either say enough is enough in a respectful manner or choose to move the child or to continue dealing with them.  It is sad that every contact within that particular office has been....well, RUDE.  Sad, sad.

     This is a reason many will quit.  I can't blame them, but that must mean that more must step up when others grow weary.  We mustn't point to others and demand them to step up, we must step up and now!  As I speak, another child is being ripped away from their mom or parents because of abuse or neglect or drugs.  That child will cling regardless of the horror because it is all they know.  They will be frightened, angry, distrustful and confused and you are needed to bring stability and love along with the basic needs that they may or may not have had met. Easy?  Not on your life!  These kids come with loads of baggage, but they are "precious in HIS sight.

    We are waiting as we speak for a new placement.  Yes, we've already gotten the call.  In fact we got it before our last little angel left (that has never happened for us before).  She is moving from another home and will come more than likely late next week. She has already had several moves. Pray for her and for us as we love her and show her how much God loves her.  Not to bait your hook, or maybe to bait it a little.  There are major miracle surrounding this particular placement, but due to confidentiality I must not share them just yet. This will be big, I promise!

So....the rest of the story.  First of all, she didn't come.  That is both sad and happy all rolled into one.  The STORY I couldn't tell is that she is being adopted by our friends.  I was not supposed to know that at first, but the facts all added up.  She was being moved because the home needed to close for one reason or another and yet was about to go into an adoptive situation