Some things I need to clarify. I DID not adopt my daughters nor do I foster to save different races from their race. By the calling of God we opened our home to ANY child. Race was not in the equation. We would take them all. I am NOT trying to make my adopted daughters white. I am NOT colorblind. That is a term many people use to imply that they are for ALL races. For me it means that I don't notice what makes them who they are.
I have a daughter who is black. This I know! We don't use the term African American often mainly because MY black friends don't like that term. They have TAUGHT me a few things about that. I do use it in situations where I am expected to be politically correct....sometimes. I'll be honest, I am NOT always politically correct! I am never going to make her white. I don't want to. It's not who she is. She does have white parents and most of her siblings are white, but that doesn't change who she is. She is loved and she is a child of God who happens to have parents of a different race.
As a side note: I also have a daughter who is bi-racial. She is very light skinned, but clearly both black and white. I am not going to make her white either. She is not.
Now, here it gets touchy. I am often asked about dating and marriage and what my thoughts are on the various races in my family. Don't send me hate mail! I am praying for a GODLY spouse for each of my children. Race is not in my prayers. I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend on this subject and we totally agreed with each other and she brought up some beautiful points. Do you really think God sees race when he looks at you? He sees the uniqueness, He celebrates it and yet he has no judgement to pre conceived ideas. Just love. Simply love. God didn't invent races....we did due to sin and yet God in all of his wisdom, made something so very beautiful out of it all. What we did is a different story. We became divided against our very own brothers and sisters. God sees uniqueness and individuality and yearns for his children, but color is not in the equation. I am not necessarily looking for a black man for my black daughter, but in turn I am not necessarily looking for a white man or woman for my white children. I am looking for a Godly spouse. I can feel the heat rising as some of you read! Yes, I think it can be challenging for mixed raced couples and it always had been. Shouldn't be, but it is true that there are challenges. Not just a black and white thing. Think about those men who came home from either of the World Wars with foreign brides. That DID NOT go over well. Those women were shunned! I think it's wrong to look at any mixed race couple any differently, but it is a fact. You have to consider that when choosing a spouse, but that may be God's choice for you. Who does my bi-racial daughter choose? She is stuck in between and yet she is God's child and he knew her name and her story long before time began. She is precious in his sight just like she is, white parents and black sister, and white brothers and sister and all.
You must prayerfully consider your options if you are considering adoption. You must be prepared to answer these questions and be secure in your choices. Called by God is the best place to be. Yes, we get stared at in public. I think it's because my children are all so darn cute or maybe because there are 6 of them or maybe....oh yeah, of course we have different races. It doesn't bother me. If someone asks questions it gives me the opportunity to share just what God has done for my family!
When we started this journey we felt a very clear call to adopt those who became available. He knew who those children would be. He knew their race and their background and we stepped up to the plate ready to swing. We're still swinging! Swinging at all the obstacles that come our way, swinging at all the myths that have been spread about foster care and adoption, still swinging at issues of race. We will continue until there are NO MORE ORPHANS or God calls us home.
Please feel free to share your thoughts. I would LOVE to hear them. I DO NOT have all the answers NOR are my answers always right. I am a vessel being molded by my FATHER and I am open to your opinions in agreement or not. Again, I will ask that you be respectful in every way otherwise I will delete it before I even finish.....just keeping it real here.
I'm linking up tohttp://noordinarybloghop.blogspot.com/2012/01/family-parenting-and-marriage-2012.html
7 comments:
AMEN!!!!
I sometimes wonder, after reading our "adoption Bible", if internationally adopted children tend to marry a partner that is of the same race due to a connection they felt they lost. I have no idea what the statistics are on that but there is already such a loss for them, I wonder if this is something they seek? Or do they go with the the comfortable, what you said, what God has for them because they have made peace with that loss. So much to think about on this subject!
BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for sharing!
I stumbled on your blog, via Pinterest, thank you for being so open, honest, funny and faithful. My husband of nearly 20 years is White and I am Black, together we have 4 children. Two from his first marriage who are White and we have two together. When our oldest two were younger we would often get stares, rude remarks, I was asked if I were the nanny, etc. I may not be their biological mother but through thick and thin good and bad, they are a part of me. I am proud of the adults that they have become, they are open to other races,ethnicities, and cultures and I thank God for giving them that exposure. When my youngest daughter was born (11 years ago) People would often inquire if I were her mother, since she has blonde hair and blue eyes-genetics! My husband gets the same reaction with our 13 yr old son, since he looks like me, which he still finds challenging and frustrating. Your blog on Race was so candid and heartfelt. I wish you and your family all of the best, strength for challenges and love abounding through it all. Stand by your faith and others will follow your lead.
I loved this post! There is nothing - NOTHING - more precious than a child. Colour is immaterial in loving them and accepting them. They are all God's children and, as such, are so precious in His sight! I love that you are more concerned with helping your children find a Godly person as a partner. That is the only requirement! Thank you for this lovely post! And for your open, honest love for children. The world needs so many more like you! Thanks for linking up on NOBH!
I am going to share this with my mother. Thank you for putting into words I feel for my kids. They are all natural born white kids, but I have one of those moms that just judge. I want a Godly spouse for my kids. I don't ask for a white Godly spouse. Just a Godly spouse. I pray for this person already and my kids are still very very young. Thank you. This is wonderful.
You are a warrior of God. I will pray you, and ALL of your children! :)
I have four foster girls, who I am just a few months away from adopting. All four are siblings and they are all a different race from me.
It is very interesting the comment we get. They are Native. I had a lady in the store ask me once if there father was Native. I replied, "Sure is."
But other times, I have had someone tell me how much the girls look like me...there is no resemblance beyond the fact that we all have two eyes and a nose, but it makes me smile anyhow!
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