Could I take you to lunch for your birthday?

     A friend called to invite me to lunch for my birthday.  I wistfully smiled and declined, not because I didn't want to, but just the sheer task of preparing to GO to lunch was not worth the lunch. It has nothing to do with her.  I would LOVE to spend time with her.  Not saying I don't do these things occasionally, but it takes a major amount of work to make it happen.  Everything has to go smoothly or at least close to smoothly (this does not mean I expect my children to be perfect, but if something gets off then the day goes down hill or we have to re-vamp another area).  Never mind that any foster child must be with me or an approved babysitter....bahaha.  The others could stay at home due to their ages, but I don't like to do that if at all possible.

    Now you get to take a glimpse at a typical day in our home and why I said, "no".  Wake up time is about 7:30 for the crew that remains home.  This means my oldest and my husband have already gotten up and left the house for school and work.  At that time I know I must go wake the sleeping girls.  I am WAY beyond blessed that they do NOT wake me up, but it is still hard to not leave them sleeping.....been there, done that, not a good idea for the rest of the day.  Hopefully, but not always, my daughter and son have gotten up and are standing there ready to help....bahaha.  Okay, I better back up.  That was my fantasy morning.  In the REAL world I go to wake each of the older ones up.  Usually my younger son is up and looking half dazed.  Dragging my pre teen daughter out of bed,  is another story.  It takes effort and usually a few threats of bodily harm or taking away "screens" for at least.....ever or keeping her from seeing her friends.  These tactics usually work and if they don't, there is always a cup of ice water.

     Now to wake the little girls.  One wakes up like sunshine.  The other....NOT so much.  I never know which is best to wake up first.  Many times their diapers are so full, because we forgot to keep drinks away from them after dinner, that I must bathe them.  There is just something about a full "teetee" diaper that makes a child smell REALLY bad.  This is a quick bath, which is not met with joy from little girls who could stay in the tub all day.  In and out and now there is screaming.  Sunshine girl gets over it quicker and is dressed fairly easily.  "Wakes up on the wrong side of the crib" is screaming like she has been stabbed with a pencil and trying to wriggle out of my arms.  This makes the dressing process difficult.  Does this count as a work out?  I need to think of an exotic name like "Zumba" and make videos.  I could make millions!  Doesn't seem to work out in the weight loss department, but I don't have to SHARE that part, do I?  Hum.....

     Now, the outfit choice is crucial here.  I have it all out and right at the changing table.  If I'm quick and the stars line up right, "wakes up on the wrong side of the bed" won't notice due to the throes of her fit, and I can slip it on before she notices.  This is also my fantasy.  She WILL notice and she will begin to scream for another outfit and more than likely it will be for the "cookie" shirt.  This is her favorite.  Before you tell me to just let her wear it or go and buy 3 like it, I will tell you that clothes on a toddler MUST be washed at some point, sometimes with lots of products and stain removers.  You also must consider what YOU might be saying if you saw me for  7 consecutive days and saw said child in the SAME shirt.  Would you remember my post and smile sympathetically or would you call a few friends and throw me under the bus with the other moms who let their children get away with EVERYTHING.  Nuff said.  We are NOT wearing the cookie shirt today.

     Okay, supposing we survived the dressing process, we are now heading to breakfast.  I know, I know, am I crazy?  Why did I bathe and dress them BEFORE breakfast?  Okay, I'll tell you.  We bathe and dress several times so what difference does it make really?  My REAL reason is that if we eat breakfast first we seem to loose momentum for the "dressing process".  I don't know why.

     Girls are headed to breakfast and NOW I am bathing the "Tank".  He has to take one separate since he doesn't sit up well and isn't cool with the splashing.  In and out, new diaper and clothes on a wiggly VERY fat, adorable baby.  22lbs at just turned 8 months is BIG.  MY back will tell you!!!  In fact your back will tell you if you hold him for any length of time.  He goes in the bouncer with a bottle and the girls get in their highchairs.  I have considered using duct tape in this process since they always try to get out, but I feel certain CPS would not approve even though they are adopted.  So for now, my cute pink duct tape remains in the drawer unused.

     Breakfast: It would be best to only allow dry foods that don't make a mess, but truly only an IV can offer you that and we're not into needles.  Biscuits and homemade jam are an option and not a good one.  Amazing day, look, both bibs are perfectly clean.  I realize this means less laundry for me and makes me smile before I realize that a clean bib means the jam went somewhere else.  Had to!  Yep.  It has oozed down the side of the child wearing the solid colored pants (if they were patterned I could have smeared it in and not really noticed it).  It then proceeded to ooze under her little rump that is continually trying to get out of seat belt. Now is all over that little rump!  The other darling daughter, the one will the newly done braids that took almost 2 hours, has managed to add jam to her hair.  It needs moisturizer, doesn't it mommy?

     Breakfast is done.  The next 2 hours are spend, sweeping, mopping and cleaning an 8 ft radius of the high chairs and all the crack and crevices of the chairs.  Fantasy....I DO NOT have 2 hours and what's a little jam on the floor.  We have a dog.

     School has begun with the older ones and again, I am blessed.  My kids are fairly independent with their work.  For those who have known me for a long time, this is one of the 7 Wonders of the World and nothing short of a miracle.  I settle the little girls with some great PRE pre-school activities to aid learning and raise their IQ.  Bahaha.  I am in survival mode.  I give them blocks, or colors or puzzles and we hope for the best.  "Tank", otherwise known as DJ is army crawling everywhere.  Of course, he won't go for toys I have scattered down for him to enhance learning, once again (this is sarcasm in case you didn't get it) he is either heading for the cord tucked underneath the table or the fireplace with sharp edges.  I have to be quick, he certainly is.  I go back and forth between the electrical danger, chin splitting option, block throwing, coloring ON the puzzles, yes, that is a pronoun and no that is not a multiplication problem and no you cannot skip your writing assignment because you had a splinter in your writing finger last month.

     The countdown is on.  10:00 is coming.  Naptime is NOT an option at our house.  It is NOT just for children, it is for mommy.  Sing a song and go night night.  Diapers changed, go potty, and go down.  Get the right "icky".  Not the pink one, the brown one! Blankets, AKA as ickies or is that Icky's, who knows, are a BIG deal to the child with the wardrobe malfunctions.  Oh, that was something entirely different.  How about the wardrobe pickiness.  We'll go with that word, even though it's NOT a word.

     Do I need to go any further?  Do you even know where this post started and what the question was?  Are you still reading?  Not likely.

     No, I can't go to lunch.  It's only 10:20 and I haven't showered or dressed.  The only thing I've done is eat and brush my teeth and even that is not certain.  Lunch.  I can't think that far ahead.  This is the time we do the BIG school things that take intense instruction.  We have 2 hours and that is not enough time.  Sometimes we go ahead and do Bible and History or sometimes we wait until the afternnoon.  It depends on what we are working on and how much time it is going to take.  This is a daily decision and changes.

   Lunch?....it's 4 o"clock now.  Where did the day go?  What did I have for lunch?  Oh look there is part of a biscuit in the high chair.  That'll do.

I'm linking to http://noordinarybloghop.blogspot.com/2012/01/family-parenting-and-marriage-2012.html