The Nest...

....and another one leaves the nest.  I know we prepare for this day.  We teach, instruct, guide, pray, love and prepare and then you blink and they go from diapers to college. How does it go so fast?  Why?  I know this is what we prepare them for and dream of for them, but man....that doesn't make it any easier.  Even when you feel totally confident that they will soar, you still feel like there's something you didn't teach, something you parented wrong and most certainly did, something else that needs to be done and yet you look up and they are soaring and you have nothing left to do, but stand back and watch.  Yes, there are still lessons, but it's different now.  The security of the nest is no longer there.

This isn't my first rodeo.  I have a Senior in college as well and can tell you that every time he comes home I feel that sinking feeling deep in my heart that longs for him to return and hug me around my knees and reach his little hand up to grab mine to walk across the street.  I still picture that picture in my mind of the time his Pinewood Derby car didn't win when he was about 5.  He ran to me and buried his head in my chest and sobbed.  He was crushed.  Utterly crushed and I would have done anything at that moment to grab that first prize trophy and hand it to him, but I couldn't.  This was a disappointment he would have to weather and there would be more.  Bigger ones along the way.  It didn't stop my heart from aching for him and his heartache.

There is no girlfriend in the picture at this time, BUT I know the clock is ticking and one day in the near future, more than likely I will hand him to another woman.  Hand my first born son to another woman for her to take care of him.  How am I supposed to do that?  I longed for his arrival.  I ate the right things, did the right things, read all the books, prayed, cried and prepared for him.  I spent what seems like a lifetime raising him, loving him.  How can I let go?

Now my next child is off for her first year in college.  She is nervous and excited all in one.  How can I tell her how fast this will all go?  How can I explain that the memories she makes in the next few years will stay with her forever and she will cherish so many of them and cherish so many of those friends?  How can I explain that the decisions she makes can be life altering?  Life defining. They can change the course of the rest of her life.  How do I keep in contact and yet not smother?  How can I support and not be a pest? How do I let her fly when I want her to have a fountain of hair on top of her hair and be running through the backyard barefoot eating cherry tomatoes from our plants.

God is good all the time.  God has laid these plans before time began. I will walk the path before me.