Upside Down World

     The world in truly upside down.  So much tragedy and yet so much hope.  How can the two work together?  How can we reconcile either?

     Foster care has really changed over the last 20 years and daily seems to be changing now.  Some of this is good and yet some is ....well, upside down.  New changes are coming for foster homes in the fall of 2014.  CPA's (Child Placing Agencies....these are your private agencies like ours that license homes) will need to add the following to their checklist....

• An additional interview of a family member not living in the home.
• Two additional interviews of neighbors, clergy, school employees, and/or other community members.
• Interviews of all adult children of foster parents.
• An assessment of personal relationships of foster parents, and review of household finances.
• Review of any law enforcement agency calls to the foster home for the past two years.
• Verification of identity and background checks for any person designated as an emergency caregiver (this has always been the case)                                                  I truly do not have a problem with any of these with 2 exceptions.  

1.  These must be followed for any "family" or "fictive kin" placement.  If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander.  Now many of you would assume this happens anyway.  Oh my fair weather friend, family is....well family and therefore does not go through the scrutiny that a foster home does.  CPS considers a successful end to a case to be a child being placed with family.  While I agree this is a good thing, either returning home to parents who have greatly improved or finding family who knows this child or children and can support them through the thick and thin.  That sounds so nice doesn't it?  Sadly, it doesn't happen this way as often as we would all like.  Back to the point....family and friends need to be as thoroughly checked as foster homes.  The end.

2. What about those who have neighbors who flat out don't like anyone?  I am blessed and we don't have neighbors like that, but boy do I know people who do.  I have a friend who shared a second hand story about one of her friends who had CPS called on a  regular basis because her elderly neighbor didn't like kids and any time they were outside, she called CPS.  CPS would come out and terrify this family only to find nothing wrong and go about their merry way.  In the meantime the family lived in fear that their children might be taken and they didn't know why or who would call.  CPS finally caught on to the mean neighbor and she got in "trouble" whatever that means.  I assure you, she didn't get a spanking.  Now, maybe the foster home gives the names of the neighbors to the CPA instead of them going knocking door to door.  I have no idea how this will play out.  I just pray that there are no homes who have neighbors who don't want any foster kids living near them.  That is always a possibility. 

     In light of everything being upside down, I know there have been some unbelievably tragic deaths and abuse by foster homes this year, but NOT NEAR as many as bio family stories.  I can see a tragic accident, but outright abuse by a foster home is just so shocking to me and rare.  Shouldn't the agency have not felt right about these particular homes?  Even more tragic are the stories of children returning home to be abused again by their parents or family.  We have had 2 cases like this in our almost 5 years.  One was at the hands of his mother and the other was by the aunt who...get this....worked for....who?  None other than CPS.  Can you believe that?  That was shocking to me.  The woman left the 17 month old outside in the fenced yard while she went to work at none other than CPS.  Not kidding you!  I could NOT make this stuff up!  None of my foster kiddos came from other foster homes where they were abused.  Only one came from another foster home at all. 

     Why are so many things falling apart?  Families, foster homes, people who should know better and those who maybe just never learned.  Drugs?  Why yes, but why are drugs so prevalent?  Sin?  Why yes, but ultimately it is selfishness which of course is sin.  We are so obsessed with SELF.  Of course I could blame some of this on the movement not too long ago to build our children's self esteem, but I digress, somewhat.  

     We must strive for something more.  We just learn to serve others and live for Jesus.  He wasn't worried about ME time. His ME time was in prayer to his beloved Father.  Not "chillin" on the couch or having to have a night out every other night.  

    Fostering is tiresome, and aggravating and exhilarating, and exhausting and frightening and full of joy and worthy of the precious name of Jesus.  Our family is ON THE RADAR and is constantly scrutinized by perfect strangers, some of which I wouldn't hang out with on a regular basis because of their personal life choices and yet I submit to their authority.  Crazy?  Uh yeah?  Do I wonder what it would be like to walk away?  Uh yeah!  But....you know there is always a but.....I hear the stories of children in horrible situations and know that somewhere there is one needing to be held tonight.  One needing tears wiped.  One needing to be tucked in to bed and assured at least 20 times that there are no monsters under the bed (real monsters that they have dealt with in their lifetime).  One who needs to heal.  One who needs to learn that there will food at every meal and plenty of it.  One that needs to be encouraged and cheered for and smiled at and simply loved.  And yes, one that you will give every part of yourself to and one that you will ultimately let go.  And yes, your heart will ache and break and you will fall apart.  Wait for it......THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TIME.  Yes, I just said that.  That is when you will fall on your face before Jesus and he will piece together your heart and restore you. You won't be the way you were before, but you will be better.  Broken and beautiful.  You will know unconditional love.  You will know crushing heartache.  You will know the heart of Jesus.  And, you will do it again.  

God bless you dear friend.  Don't let the rules and regulations drag you down and discourage you.  Fight for these little ones.  Jump through the hoops for them.  Be loving to all those you come in  contact with whether or not you agree with them.  Pray hard and DO IT ALL AGAIN!