One of THOSE days!

It is SO hard to blog! I just don't have any time and when I do I usually choose sleep. Right now I am down 13.2 lbs. with this diet and 19.2 total. I am thrilled, but really want more, of course! I was exceptionally frustrated this morning when I got up and had lost 2.4 lbs..... well, at first I was thrilled and doing the "skinny" dance and then I thought to myself....."self.... you did NOT just lose 2.4 lbs in one day so back to the scale I went and it was NOT loss at all. I almost cried, but instead I started the scale over again and weighed about 234 times coming up with a loss of .2. Ugh... yes, I know that is still a loss, but what happened to the scale on the 2.4? I want to lose a little over 30 more so I must not give up I am NOT half way there. Water.... water, where is my water.

Baby K is not herself today. She has cried a lot and just doesn't seem content. That is NOT like her. She is always content. I hope she is not getting sick. Baby A had parenting classes and is now up way past bedtime happily rocking in his exersaucer. I need to put him down, but he is happy and talking and smiling at me while I "wear" baby K.

Today was exhausting! I just don't know how to work with one of my children. It has been a battle for so long and I am losing the battle. I am just not nice and that does NOT provide the atmosphere for learning. School may be an option and I hate that. It will be even harder if we go that route with only one child. I have taken everything away... grounding forever... missing parties, friends and now we are looking at dropping this child from a big activity in that child's life. I am exhausted and worn down and I have been this way for well over a year. It gets better and then worse. When each baby came it got dramatically better, but as we have settled in we are back to the worse part. Where to send that child to school is the question. Not an easy one. Not that the choices are bad , just where would be best and can we truly handle it. This child is adamant against it, but then again that is our choice at this point. Maybe an interview at the school will help... or it could make it worse. Just say a little prayer for this mom in turmoil. Speed bumps are always hard, but this is an exceptional one since it will alter our home dramatically. God is faithful and I know HE will guide our steps. He has been so amazingly faithful in this fostering journey. There is NOT way I could add 2 infants to our home and it go like it has without HIM intervening and giving my HIS strength. I don't have it in me. It's not perfect, but He has provided what we needed when we needed it. He also gave us a "Becky" and tomorrow she will be here so I can get away and run those not so fun errands or just sit in a parking lot if I wish! Ha! Pedicure, anyone??? I did win both the "Loser" and the most Bunkos last night in a group I sub in every once in a while (I didn't even know that was possible). IT was awesome!!! I haven't won in forever. $30, whoohoo!

More later on The American Girl Adventure and Send Out Cards. They are amazing! I am sending cards out like crazy and for CHEAP and with pics of us. I LOVE IT! Never even leave the house. They print and mail them. Check it out at sendoutcards.com/locke. Love it! Locke did it for work and now we are just so impressed that we are really getting into it. Rambling....