Transitons in Foster Care

     If truth be told I really wanted a little petite baby girl.  They are so soft and cuddly and wear such cute little clothes.  We had just finished 7 months with an adorable 2 year old boy.  He was heavy and needy and ate tons....and crawled on the floor looking for more scraps.  He was clumsy and climbed on everything easily becoming a target for disaster since he couldn't balance for long.  He  was full of laughter and had the cutest little voice, especially when he sang, "kinkle, kinkle, widdle star" He came in at 17 months and tested at a 9 month level. 4 months later he test 2 months shy of his actual age.  We were thrilled.

     The case was a wild ride.  His family was hostile towards us on a good day.  They complained of everything, from his clothes, to his mood.  I always pray for the family, but I tell you this was a hard one.  His grandparents were almost worse and they were educated professionals.  Their nasty dispositions were difficult to handle.  We weren't sure where the case was going, but we knew it wasn't going anywhere fast....and then all of a sudden it was over.  He would return to the grandparents he came from at the time of the "incident" with his dad.  We were shocked, really.  We expected he would possibly return there eventually, but figured they had a LOT more to prove in order for that to happen.  Such is the life of a foster parent.  Halloween was our parting day.  That was a little bit of a relief because it would have been a challenge to go with 3 little ones that have the potential to run.  Our church's Farm Fair was easy to manage, but I still don't like my little ducklings to get far from me.  The night was a bit empty without him.


     The next day I had scheduled a long over due cut an d color.  I knew the mourning process was coming, well, it started when we were told he would be leaving, so I plowed on into preparing for the next little one.  I knew it would be quick. In the middle of my 10:00 hair appointment, THE NEXT DAY, I got THE call.  Would we accept placement of a preemie little girl.  She was 4 lbs and 4 oz and 12 days old.  She was being released from the NICU that day.....there was a chance she wouldn't come IF they could find a home for her AND her mother.  WHAT?  ....and her mother.  IF her mother showed up?  What? Her mother happened to be a 16 year old foster child herself, but she was currently missing.  This is always the hard part.....waiting.  DO you go ahead and prepare, round up clothes, move the bassinet in?  I simply waited.  In the late afternoon I got word that she was indeed coming.  Between the call and the time she arrived, things got a little dicey.  She was expect at about 7 pm.  She arrived at 1:30 am.

     She was the tiniest little thing I had ever seen.  She seemed to be swallowed up in the carseat.  She was adorable. I had never even held a baby this small.  I was smitten!  Preemie clothes seemed too big.  She needed doll clothes.  Fortunately we had several people arrive with preemie stuff and we were well on our way to a wardrobe for our little "Krissy" (our nickname for her...we can't post her real name).  We now call her Scarlett most of the time (again, not her real name).

     The kids were all floored by this tiny little doll. Her sweet little sounds and little wisps of black hair.
As time went on the case took an odd turn at at 18 days she left us for 2 weeks.  We were a bit lost, but praying for her safety and if she was to return to care, that we would have an opening.  Since we typically have NO time at all between placements (7 days being the average) we weren't sure what would happen.  We did receive a call, but it fell through and 2 weeks later we go the call asking if we would once again take our little angel.  Of course we anticipated her arrival.  She came back with some weight on, but also acquired a BAD case of thrush.  Maddening really.

     Christmas would be shared with our little pint sized girl!  In fact, she had Christmas plans of her own. December 18th she was admitted to the hospital with RSV where we spent the next 8 days watching her struggle for every breath.  It was awful.  I held her all but for bedtime because her heart rate would get too high if I didn't.  The time dragged and yet flew.  I brought my kindle, my iPad, her stocking and had the TV and a few books, but none got any attention.  I just simply held her and waited for breathing treatments and vital checks and listened to bells going off constantly. Sleep seldom came and when it did, I had guests coming to visit. Who could refuse company!  THe food was actually every good and then friends treated me with more. Our Legacy Foster/adoption ministry group took such great care of us.  They came to sit with her so we could have time away to spend with my family during Christmas and even brought us Christmas Eve dinner complete with....EVERYTHING!  Another friend even came Christmas Day , the day we were released so that we could all go to my parent's house for Christmas Day!  It was truly a blessing!

     I know this post is begging for pictures and many foster parents do post them, but it is illegal and I am bound to keep them off.  They are here (but stored for posting once she is no longer a poster child).

     Her case is simple.  No visits.  We simply just love her.  Each month her caseworker comes to visit and reports that there is nothing to report.  We just wait and love her.  For how long?  Only God knows that answer and as foster parents we must be okay with that.  It is all we have in life anyway.  No promise of tomorrow so today we choose to love our tiny little baby girl.